Catch Me If You Can
by thebrokencradle
Summary: Anthro: Wile E. Coyote and Road "Roadie" Runner take off through Tortilla Flats. Skeptical spectators watch in the small town and speculate on the relationship that not even the two participants are sure exists. Rated for Later Chapters
1. The Fast and the Furryous

**AN: Just to clear things up right now – yes, I mean NOW so that I don't have to repeat myself through every chapter – I will give my obligatory list of comments, warnings, rants, disclaimers, etc.**

**1) I DO NOT OWN WILE E. COYOTE OR THE ROAD RUNNER. THEY ARE PROPERTY OF CHUCK JONES AND WARNER BROTHERS. Any recognizable characters will also not be mine. At the end of each chapter I use an original character in I will be sure to put a disclaimer.**

**2) THIS WILL BE A SLASH STORY: I.E. This will have homosexual content, innuendo and other such things. Most of the really big stuff will probably be in later chapters.**

**3) THESE CHARACTERS ARE ANTHRO. Meaning they will walk on two legs, wear human-esque clothing and probably talk a lot more than you are used to in the cartoons (It's really hard to write a long fic with only "meep-meep" as the dialogue). Think of how the Looney Tunes are, the animal characters regularly talk, interact with humans and dress up in drag or costumes, this will not be that much of a stretch of the imagination.**

**4) I AM GIVING YOU WARNINGS BECAUSE I AM A GENEROUS PERSON AND DO NOT WANT YOUR RETINAS BURNED OUT BECAUSE YOU DO NOT BELIEVE IN HOMOSEXUALITY. I WILL NOT TOLERATE NASTY COMMENTS IN MY COMMENT BOXES OR INBOXES. I WILL REPORT YOU AND HAVE YOUR COMMENTS REMOVED IF YOU HARRASS ME FOR THIS FIC.**

**5) I AM NOT WRITING THIS FIC FOR ANYONE BUT MYSELF. I don't care how much you beg for updates, I will update in my own time. I am open to suggestions and requests, but do not believe that just because you put it out there that I am obligated to you. I hold obligations to no one.**

**6) IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH ANY OF THESE WARNINGS THEN I SUGGEST YOU PRESS THE MAGICAL LITTLE BUTTON ON THE TOP OF YOUR SCREEN THAT TAKES YOU TO THE PREVIOUS PAGE NOW. I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY MENTAL SCARRING OR TRAUMA CAUSED BY THIS FIC. I ALSO WILL NOT TOLERATE BIGOTTED HARRASSMENT. I AM AMERICAN AND I HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH. NOT EVEN GOD ALMIGHTY CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO!**

**If you have read and understood these warnings then good. You are held accountable for your actions and if you do not choose to accept that and bitch to me like an immature brat then I will treat you like an immature brat.**

_**Catch Me If You Can**_

**Chapter 1: The Fast and the Furryous**

"_**Oh, come on try to catch me  
Oh, catch me if you can  
Oh, come on try to catch me  
Oh, catch me if you can…"**_

_**~~ Angela Via "Catch Me If You Can"**_

18 miles Northeast of Apache Junction, one of the largest cities in Arizona, lay the small ghost town of Tortilla Flat. The town had seventeen residents, one post office, two dirt roads and one saloon where most of the town gathered for socializing. The town had long since been forgotten, even by the government, and many people thought it was empty. Well… It wasn't quite there yet. There was a gas station and every so often people would come around from travelling to stop and use it, but other than that there was no reason to stop at the picturesque little town. At least no reason that most people could see.

You see, most people were so wrapped up in their own lives and with bigger, better cities and such that Tortilla Flat held no interest for them. Every single person in that small town could tell you a dozen wonderful places to visit, tucked away little corners and amazing sights.

Wile E. Coyote was currently gazing at one of these sights, watching the clean Arizona sunrise, the pink, yellow and ever so slight gray tinting the sky like a primrose bud. He sighed and smiled, watching as the gaseous yellow star slowly crept across the horizon, the colors becoming more pronounced and bolder. Finally the sun was risen and the sky was its usual cyan blue and the spectator to it sighed, standing and dusting himself off.

Wile E was a tall, fit specimen. Not too muscular but still slightly wiry. He was very thin and often times this was due to lack of nourishment. He wore a tight green muscle-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts with a pair of suspenders and a belt keeping them on his skinny hips. The desert dog sighed and stretched, shaking out the stiffness in his limbs from sitting in one position for so long. He pushed his short, scruffy brown head fur from his face, bending over to pick up his note book and pencil.

When a blurr of purple, blue, and yellow flew past him, ruffling his fur and the pages of his book. Grabbing the book the coyote looked around wildly, his yellow eyes catching sight of the perpetrator.

It was a Road Runner. A skinny-legged, archaically grinning, blue and purple Road Runner wearing a pair of denim Daisy-Dukes shorts and a purple tank top. The long crest of feathers fell gently over one eye and the Road Runner was smiling widely at the Coyote.

"I beg your pardon." Wile E. made a face, shoving his notebook into his pocket. He wasn't in the mood for dealing with dumb birds.

"Whatcha-doin'?" The bird asked quickly, bouncing on it's toes. Wile E. glared at the bird, a mental tangent beginning.

"I was just about to go back into town."

"Wanna-race? I-just-moved-here-from-Phoenix. I-don't-know-the-roads-very-well-around-here-though. That's-my-name-by-the-way: Road-Runner, though-everyone-calls-me-Roadie! What's-your-name?"

Wile E. had to pause and blink for a moment, pulling apart the run together words and separating sentences.

"I do not race." Wile E. stated firmly, turning to begin his trek down the plateau he had been seated on.

His paw slipped on a small rock and he stumbled, regaining his footing quickly. A loud giggle and the Coyote glared up at the Road Runner, who was smiling down at him, giggling madly.

"Stop that." He snarled and the bird only smiled, let out a loud "Meep-meep" and began zooming down the plateau. Wile E. felt his face whacked by the long plumeage of the bird's tail and he growled, turning and glaring down at the bird below him. "You know, you're looking like a very good option for a meal right now." Wile E growled, climbing further down.

"You'd-have-to-catch-me-first!" The bird grinned up at him and Wile E. sniffed.

"I could catch you easily."

"Catch-me! Catch-me!" The bird giggled, "meep-meep"-ed once more before racing off, long legs wheeling in a blur of yellow and blue. Wile E. gapped before jumping the last few feet to the ground and racing after the Road Runner.

The Road Runner was only a few feet ahead of the Coyote, occasionally glancing back and grinning as he sped up a notch or slowed down a bit. Wile E. glared and growled, following the bird, intent on the fluttering tail feathers ahead of him. Suddenly the bird turned and Wile E., unused to such hairpin movements, raced forward, turning his head to see the bird just as he fell off a shallow ledge, yelping in pain as he landed on a pile of rocks. The Road Runner looked over the ledge, stuck out its tongue and let out an infuriating "meep-meep" before it was gone.

Wile E. growled to himself, pulling himself up to his feet and tromping back to the small town and the general store. He had work in fifteen minutes.

The coyote opened the creaky wooden door to the local general store, sighing as he pulled on his apron, punching his card and getting ready to order new stock. Another boring day in the middle of nowhere.

"_**Get up  
Let's see what you're made of  
Bring it on, you know I'm not afraid  
There's no way you can slow me down now  
It's time to show you what I'm all about…"**_

_**~~Angela Via "Catch Me If You Can"**_


	2. Beep Beep

_**Catch Me If You Can**_

**Chapter 2: Beep-Beep!**

"_**It was a recipe for disaster  
A four course meal of no sirree  
It seemed that happily ever after  
Was happy everyone was after me  
It was a cup of good intentions  
A table spoon of one big mess  
A dash of over reaction  
I assume you know the rest  
One little slip, One little slip  
It was a fusion of confusion  
With a few confounding things"**_

_**~~ Barenaked Ladies "One Little Slip"**_

Wile E. was beginning to get annoyed.

No.

Not annoyed: infuriatingly incensed. It had been a week since Roadie had begun this strange game of tag where Wile E. was constantly "it". The coyote had been sure that he would have caught the bird by now. After all, he was the far more superior mind! Wile E. coughed and sputtered as he recovered from yet another failed attempt to capturing the Road Runner involving a stick of dynamite and a narrow, rickety board as the only means of crossing a large ditch. The fuse had burned too quickly and the dynamite had exploded in Wile E.'s paw.

Wile E. slumped as he pulled his notebook out of his pocket and wrote in his small, precise script, "Dynamite sticks need longer fuses."

"Whatcha-got-there?" Roadie asked, causing the coyote to jump at the sudden invasion of his privacy, turning, his nose accidentally pressing to the bird's beak. Roadie smiled at him that stupid smile that made Wile E. want to smack it off his face.

"None of your business." Wile E. snapped the book closed, placing it back in his pocket before turning to glare at the bird. "You are infuriating."

"You're-funny." The bird giggled, smiling at the coyote.

"I am no such thing." The coyote snapped, huffing and turning completely to the bird. Roadie was about the same height as him, including the ridiculous crest of feathers atop his head. But he was so much slighter than Wiley, thin and elongated at the legs and neck with a slender torso. Today it was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a bright yellow tee shirt with wing motifs on the back. Wile E. frowned. The bird was bright enough as it was. Was it just mocking Wile E. now? Waving a bright scarf in front of a bull.

"Are-you-hungry?" The bird asked innocently. Wile E. grinned.

"Starving." Roadie merely smiled and held out a messenger bag. Wile E. paused, staring at the bag.

"I brought cookies!" Roadie pulled out an enormous cookie and held it out to Wile E. with a childlike smile. Wile E. reached out, making as if to take the cookie, snatching at the thin wing. Roadie gasped as he was jerked forward and swung around. The slender bird smiled and swung even more, pulling himself around the coyote, gaining more momentum as Wile E. could only helplessly follow.

The cookie was shoved into Wile E.'s mouth and the coyote grunted as he released the bird in surprise, watching as Roadie sped off down the dirt path with a happy "meep-meep".

Wile E. chewed the cookie – bird seed cookie, ugh – and swallowed so as not to compromise his breathing. He glared after the bird, wiping his snout before turning and heading back to the general store.

When he arrived at the store he went back to the special section marked "Acme Beta Testing Samples" and looked through the assortment of gadgets, guns, mechanisms used for digging and nets before coming upon a few bottles of pills. He smiled as he pulled a brown bottle from the shelf.

"Earthquake pills… Side effect include uncontrollable vibrating and distorted vision. Side effects are instantaneous." The coyote grinned and raced to the front of the store. He recalled ordering some seed cakes a few days ago… He located the cakes, pulled a package off the shelf and peeled the plastic wrapping off carefully. He pulled the bottom part of the cake back, scooped out a small amount of the seeds and poured the small pills in as a filler for the small cake. Once that was done he replaced the bottom of the cake, pressing the ragged edges firmly and shaking the cake to make sure that it didn't open. He then rewrapped the cake and began to head back along the path.

He waited for about an hour, seeing Roadie approaching the road at a break-neck speed. He carefully placed the cake in the middle of the road, hiding behind one of the numerous rock formations to stare at the approaching bird.

Roadie stopped on a dime, staring down at the cake. He grinned and snatched it up, unwrapping it before taking several small bites, devouring the cake without a second thought. Wile E. grinned and watched the bird, waiting for the pills to take effect. He paused and frowned when the bird wiped its beak "meep-meep"ed and ran off. Wile E. frowned, pulled the bottle out from his bag of tricks and glared at the label. He poured a handful of pills into his paw and swallowed them. He smacked his lips and returned to glaring at the label before downing the entire bottle.

"Duds." He murmured. Suddenly his paw began shaking like a bad case of arthritis. He gapped as his entire arm vibrated, grabbing his wrist as his body began to shake as well. It was like having an epilectic seizure. His body jerked, thrust and shook as he fell back. His eyes swam in and out of focus and he rolled, trying to grab the bottle. The brown container swam forward and back and Wile E. pawed at the ground, grabbing the bottle and trying to make sense of the wiggling, jumping words.

At the bottom of the bottle, in tiny print, there read "does not effect Road Runners".

Wile E. would not realize this until several hours later when the effects wore off.

Wile E.'s paw was still shaking as he sat on his couch, trying to get his words straight as he wrote in his note book.

"Earthquake pills, very effective."

"_**I guess I probably took the wrong direction  
Well I admit I might have missed a sign or two  
I ran a light past your affection  
At humiliation Avenue  
Took a right turn at confusion  
A left when I shoulda gone straight on through  
I ran ahead with my assumptions  
We all know what that can do…"**_

_**~~ Barenaked Ladies "One Little Slip"**_


	3. Going! Going! Gosh!

_**Catch Me If You Can**_

**Chapter 3: Going! Going! Gosh!**

"_**I saw a fox by the rabbit hole  
You saw a prince from a fairy tale  
He promised that he'd watch over you  
Turned out to be the fox we all knew  
too good to be true, what chance did you stand.  
take flight, turn tail, get out while you can.  
Run rabbit run, as fast as you can. Don't look back.  
Run rabbit run, as fast as you can. Don't look back."**_

_**~~ Hoosiers "Run Rabbit Run"**_

Roadie snuck into the small shack his brother and he lived in, silently locking the door behind him, trying to creep to his bedroom before Rage found him.

A sharp slap to his face told him that he was too slow. The small Road Runner was sent sprawling across the floor, rolling onto his back and scrambling away.

"Where have you been?" A low voice hissed and Roadie could make out his brother's narrowed eyes in the darkness. Dark blue and black feathers made Rage blend into the darkness and Roadie curled up, trying to protect himself. He was kicked in the side, letting out a distressed beep.

"Well!"

"I-I…"

"Stupid." Rage snapped, grabbing Roadie by his crest and dragging him up until their beaks touched. "You're just a stupid little bird aren't you?"

"I'm-sorry!"

"No. You're not sorry." Rage's eyes narrowed. "Not yet."

"I-was-just-out-running!"

"Like hell you were!" Rage threw the smaller bird across the room. There was an audible crack and Roadie let out a high pitched sound of pain. Rage smirked and stalked over, flicking on the one bare sixty-watt lightbulb in the house, illuminating the scene. Roadie was curled around his wing, which was twisted at an odd angle at the wrist, staring up at his brother with wide, terrified eyes. The shadows cast everything in a surreal light, the dim glow illuminating Rage's face, his eyes and beak most prominent.

"You were talking to someone, weren't you?" Rage grabbed Roadie's crest, bashing his head against the ground roughly. "Weren't you?"

"I-wasn't-I-swear!" Roadie sobbed, trying to buck his brother off.

"Filthy little liar!" Another slam against the floor and Roadie's vision was going black at the edges. "Oh no you don't, Roadie…" Rage pulled the bird up and dragged him to the sink, running the cold tap and dunking Roadie's head under the stream of water. "I can think of several ways to make you scream before I let you pass out…"

Roadie gasped and sputtered for breath as he was pulled out from the sink, choking and gasping as he was thrown against the counter, his brother's body pinning him there.

"Now… You're going to tell me what I want to hear…"

Wile E. was worried. He rarely worried about anything but his next meal or his own safety. But now he was worried for an entirely different reason.

Roadie hadn't shown up for the past week. Wile E. for a moment thought about going by the bird's home, but he decided against it. After all, it wasn't like he _cared_ for the bird.

Because he certainly didn't… Absolutely not.

Wile E. jumped as he saw something whizz past the store window. He jumped off his stool and ran to the door.

It was a Road Runner. Wile E. leapt after the bird, racing down the streets, grabbing hold of the long plume of feathers and jerking the Road Runner back, only to blink and release the bird sheepishly when he saw that it wasn't Roadie.

"Do you mind?" It didn't talk like Roadie either. Roadie's voice was higher, happier, more bubbly. This one's voice was harsh and deep.

"Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Wile E. released the Road Runner's tail. "I'm Wile E. Coyote." He held out his paw amiably.

"Rage Runner." The bird didn't take his paw. "I know who you are." Rage's eyes narrowed and he seemed to turn darker. "And I want you to stay away from Roadie."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me, stay away from my brother." Rage snapped, shoving Wile E. away.

"Only if he stops our game." Wile E. stated firmly, narrowing his own eyes. He didn't like Rage, he gave Wile E. a nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach and the strange sense that he was the reason Roadie hadn't been seen.

"Oh, he will." Rage snapped before darting off in a small cloud of dust.

But apparently Roadie hadn't gotten the same warning that Wile E. had. Because sure enough, two days later while Wile E. was enjoying the sunrise, Roadie zipped past him and on down the road. The coyote smiling and racing after him.

This time he took a sharp turn, knowing the Road Runner's path by now. He had mapped out a short cut that would allow him to cut the bird off before he got to the town. Climbing over rocks and leaping across small gaps, Wile E. saw the small cloud of dust signaling Roadie's approach just as he leapt into the road. The small bird slammed into him but merely kept running as the coyote was sent flying off the edge of a small ledge, slamming his head onto the rock and causing his vision to fade to black for a few seconds.

He groaned and sat up, glaring up the ledge. Surprisingly, the bird wasn't there with his customary smile and "meep-meep". Wile E. frowned but didn't protest as his pride escaped slightly less scathed than before.

"_**He'd dance to your beat, and steal your heart  
And smile with those teeth and tear you apart.  
Hounds on your heels, Don't stop for breath, You'll wear yourself out, Till there's nothing left.  
Run rabbit run, as fast as you can. Don't look back.  
Run rabbit run, as fast as you can. Don't look back."**_

_**~~ Hoosiers "Run Rabbit Run"**_

AN: Rage Runner is an OC, I couldn't find much information on the Road Runner so I got creative.


	4. Zipping Along

_**Catch Me If You Can**_

**Chapter 4: Zipping Along**

"_**If there's hate in this heart, then there's hate in that heart.  
One hand claps not without the other.  
From love springs love, but who can say,  
If the love is not returned, it furthers by the day.  
From hate springs hate, so we have found.  
It's growing ever stronger.  
Every chance you'll take, and every heart you'll break.  
You know that everyday I'm more disappointed,  
By the world and I'm losing my faith.  
You make the hell we have to live another universal truth.  
You keep on asking the same kind of questions,  
You keep on fighting the same type of wars.  
Cos you will find what you need inside to be a superior mind.  
Superior mind…"**_

_**~~ Amy Studt "Superior Mind"**_

"You still chasin' that bird, varmit?" Wile E. glared at Yosemite Sam as the short, red-haired man gave him a crooked yellow-toothed grin. Sam was about two heads shorter than Wile E., a legal dwarf according to Doc Porky. Sam wore his usual blue plaid shirt, jeans and boots with his thick leather belt with the enormous armadillo belt-buckle. His twin pistols were holstered at his hips, ready for action at a moment's notice. One of the things one quickly learned from living in a small town notorious for drive-by shootings and robberies made by young punks was that everyone packed a gun.

"You know it's people like you who give the west a stereotypical reputation." Wile E. murmured as Sam handed him a cold drink, the coyote taking a drink of the cold beer before pressing the sweating bottle to the side of his head.

"And it's varmints like ya who starve to death because ya cain't catch a dumb bird."

"I am the superior mind, I will eventually catch him." Wile E. was not in the mood to have this conversation. Four months of pain, failed traps and filled up journal pages sent to Acme condoning or condemning the various contraptions that he worked as the beta tester for. "I just need to find the correct trap."

Sam snorted and glanced at the back door, jumping up and running in when he saw something in the kitchen.

"Git outta here ya flea-bitten varmit!"

"Ai! Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba!" Wile E. smirked to himself as a gunshot went off and Speedy's high pitched laughter drifted off into the distance.

"Damn rodent." Sam growled, holstering his gun once more.

"You know he only does it to get a rise out of you." Wile E. chuckled, taking another drink as he sat at the bar.

"Like ya and yar fucking bird. Only ya're a fanatic, I jist want my food." Sam growled and Wile E. frowned.

"I'm not a fanatic." He murmured and Sam guffawed.

"Sure ya ain't." The dwarf leaned against the bar, sitting on his customary stool behind the high counter. "Word o' advice? Give up. Ya ain't never gonna catch him, don't go wastin' yar time."

"He started it." Wile E. took another drink, wishing he had something stronger. But Sam had given him the piss poor beer and it was the only thing that the bartender gave away for free. "Why don't you try a mouse trap for Speedy? It would end your problems as much as stopping chasing Roadie would end mine."

"I wouldn' git the same satisfaction of blowing his head off if I used a mousetrap." Sam chuckled. But the coyote wasn't listening. He looked suddenly pensive and a slow grin came across his face.

"Mouse trap…" He grinned. "Ingenious."

Several hours later Wile E. lay in wait in a small ditch by the side of the road, a bag full of mouse traps from his store in a small bag. He noted the small dust cloud quickly approaching and opened the bag, throwing the mousetraps onto the road just as Roadie sped past him.

Unfortunately, this so called ingenious plan quickly failed as the mousetraps were sent raining back onto Wile E. as the bird fairly flew past. Wile E. blinked, the pain not registering until a few seconds later when he released a howl of pain. He whimpered for a few minutes before beginning to jerk the mouse traps off of his sensitive ears, nose and the scruff of his neck.

He slumped once the last mouse trap was removed, massaging his tender nose.

"Meep-meep!" Wile E. jumped and turned to see Roadie smiling down at him. The bird looked healthy enough, but Wile E. still was suspicious. The bird had been gone for a week before being seen again a few days previous. The Road Runner smiled and stuck out it's tongue before racing off, Wile E. watching the long tail feathers bobbing and fluttering with the bird's steps and the slight breeze. He slumped and shook his head.

He certainly wasn't thinking about how glad he was that the bird appeared healthy. He also was not thinking about how the colorful plumeage looked particularly clean today…

Wile E. straightened and shook his head firmly, as if to dislodge such thoughts from his brain. He didn't care about the bird. That was that, end of conversation. Wile E. sighed and stood, walking back to his general store.

It was around sunset, around time that most of the shops in the small town closed up. The coyote locked the store door, turned off the lights and walked up to his home atop the store. It was a small place with a small television, a computer, several work benches, a couch, a clothing chest of drawers and a bed. There was a small bathroom off to the side and a kitchenette as well but other than that there was really no other room. Simple, that was how Wile E. liked it.

Forgoing dinner, Wile E. walked into the bathroom, shedding his clothing as he did so, turning on the hot tap and only the hot tap. Stepping underneath the steaming stream of water, the coyote tried to make his mind numb. He didn't want to think. Not of the store. Not of Sam. Not of Roadie or Rage Runner… He just wanted peace and quiet… Slowly, Wile E. relaxed and sank to the bottom of the tub surrounding the shower, getting out only when the water turned cold.

When he finally dragged himself out of the tub, Wile E. fairly crawled to the bed, not drying himself off or pulling on pajamas. He curled up under the sheets, decidedly thankful that tomorrow was Sunday and that the stores were closed that day. He could sleep in all he wanted and not have to think about anything.

"_**If you still believe in what you said was right,  
You kept saying that you loved me, but you were wrong,  
It was lust at first sight.  
It's been this way as far as we can remember.  
Why do you always make this yours to punish.  
Without the scars to show, you will never grow.  
You know that everyday I'm more disappointed,  
By the world and I'm losing my faith.  
You make the hell we have to live another universal truth.  
You keep on asking the same kind of questions,  
You keep on fighting the same type of wars.  
Cos you will find what you need inside to be a superior mind."**_

_**~~ Amy Studt "Superior Mind"**_


	5. Stop! Look! And Hasten!

_**Catch Me If You Can**_

**Chapter 5: Stop! Look! And Hasten!**

"_**Quand ta bouche se fait douce  
Quand ton corps se fait dur  
Quand le ciel de tes yeux  
D'un seul coup n'est plus pûr  
Quand tes mains voudraient bien  
Quand tes doigts n'osent pas  
Quand ta pudeur dit non  
D'une toute petite voix…"**_

_**~~ Johnny Hallyday "Que Je T'Aime"**_

"Nuuh… Ah! Ha… ha…" Roadie gasped and panted as Wile E. slid enormous paws over his full chest, taking in the sight of the svelte form sprawled out in pleasure the young bird cooing, gasping and whimpering beneath him. Predator's instincts were mingling with something else and the coyote growled as he nuzzled the long, thin neck, taking in the airy scent of the bird. Roadie whimpered and slid a wing across Wile E.'s back, the soft feathers stroking across the thin shirt, tugging insistently at the edge.

Wile E. growled and slid his paws underneath the Road Runner's own shirt, flicking the shirt off quickly. He waited and watched as Roadie's chest heaved and fluttered, blue feathers ruffling as the fight or flight instincts gripped him. Wile E. grinned at the bird, Roadie smiling shyly up at him, long legs curling his legs around the desert dog's waist and thighs, long toe claws scrapping across the coyote's thighs gently.

"Ah!" Roadie arched and Wile E. grinned as he scrapped his claws over the bird's breasts, watching the trembling flesh as he was held tighter. He leaned down and slid his tongue across the tender flesh, tasting the wonderful creature beneath him. He tasted sweet and light, just like his scent.

Roadie was perfectly built, muscular and firm, with just enough fat to give him soft curves and contours. He was athletic, slender and soft against Wile E.'s chest. The coyote sighed as he enjoyed every sensual aspect of the bird, touch, taste, smell, sound and sight. He was gorgeous…

"Meep-meep…" For once that sound was welcomed and Wile E. growled as he tugged at the thin running shorts that Roadie almost constantly wore, pulling them down and unbuttoning his own jeans, panting when his aching length was released. He pressed into Roadie, the bird beeping and gasping, wriggling as he took the coyote's length slowly, Wile E. growling as tight heat engulfed him.

After a few seconds of stillness, Wile E. began to thrust in and out of the bird, clutching his prey to his chest, one paw sliding down to cup the bird's plumed tail firmly in his paw, kneading and scratching his claws against the flesh, savoring the feel of the bird… The pressure in his groin was mounting and Wile E. groaned and gasped as he sped up his thrusts, rocking roughly against the bird, panting as he inhaled the fresh clean scent…

Wile E. gasped and sat bolt upright in his bed, covered in sweat and panting heavily. He groaned and looked around, laying back on his empty bed. He was too old to be having these dreams. Sure he had had them when he was a horny teenager, but he was 25 now. He hadn't had a wet dream since before college.

Wile E. stared down at himself, making a face at the mess he had made of the sheets. Good thing that he was doing the laundry in the morning… A glance at the clock and Wile E. groaned.

It WAS morning.

The coyote dragged himself out of bed, rinsing off the sticky white cum covering his abdomen and chest before pulling on a black tee shirt and a pair of jeans. He fastened the belt as he began gathering up his clothes and the soiled sheets in a laundry basket.

As he climbed down the stairs, balancing the basket, he took note of the few people out at this hour. There was Granny, sitting on her front porch. Slowpoke Rodriguez was delivering mail from his small post office – Wile E. could see the delivery truck driving off in the distance, and Yosemite Sam was already hollering and cursing as he chased Speedy Gonzales out of his bar, the mouse clutching a whole bottle of whiskey in its paw.

Wile E. sighed and walked out of the general store, crossing the street to the rickety old Laundromat.

"Hows it goin', Honey?" Wile E. called as the Laundromat bell tinkled above him. He walked over to the back of the Laundromat as the buttery and peach colored bunny smiled at him. She was a fine specimen of a female, petite and well-rounded. Currently she wore only a lacy black bra and a pair of Daisy-Dukes shorts. Her floppy ears were pulled back by a scruntchie and she was reading an issue of "Cosmopolitan". Why she had that magazine when the town had a grand total of seventeen people with only a few who weren't human was beyond Wile E.'s comprehension. Women always had been…

"Dull." Honey Bunny sighed, placing her magazine down. "Bugs called today, wondering if I wanted to come back yet."

"What did you say?" Wile E. asked, raising an eyebrow in interest. Everyone in the small town knew of Honey's celebrity ex-boyfriend and how he often called her.

"I told him just where to shove it and hung up." Honey murmured, flipping through the magazine.

"It's a wonder he keeps calling." Wile E. shoved his laundry in the washer and pulled a fistful of quarters from his pocket, counting out a dollar and inserting the coins.

"I wonder too…" Honey looked out the window and grinned. "Don't look now, but your boyfriend is coming." Wile E. looked out the window and had to keep from frowning. Roadie was carrying a large basket of laundry, fairly skipping over to the Laundromat. He gave a wide smile and a wave to Honey before doing the same to Wile E..

"Hi, Honey-Bunny!"

"Hello, sweet thang, now what are you doing up this early?"

"Rage-went-to-Apache-Junction-for-something. He-won't-be-back-for-two-days." Roadie smiled brightly and Wile E. frowned.

"Did he mention why he was going there?"

"No." Roadie filled up one of the washers with the laundry and started it up, jumping onto the vibrating machine and sitting on the top, smiling widely. "Are-you-doing-laundry-today? I-don't-know-many-people-who-do-laundry-on-Thursdays. I-wonder-why-they-don't. It's-not-like-Thursday-is-a-bad-day-of-the-week-to-do-laundry."

"Sweet thang, Wile E. does laundry on Thursdays like Granny goes to mass on Sundays, it's like a religious obligation to him." Honey Bunny chuckled. She winked at the bird and looked at Wile E., who was glaring at her angrily. "Maybe you can _catch_ him here again next week."

Wile E.'s glare turned murderous. If looks could kill, Honey would have been a red spot on the floor. Honey merely smiled at him and wiggled her fingers at him in a wave.

"_**Quand mon corps sur ton corps  
Lourd comme un cheval mort  
Ne sait pas ne sait plus  
S' il existe encore  
Quand on a fait l'Amour  
Comme d'autres font la guerre  
Quand c'est moi le soldat  
Qui meure et qui la perd…"**_

_**~~ Johnny Hallyday "Que Je T'Aime"**_

AN: For those of you who do not know French or have French relatives, this song is basically sex poetry. I didn't put the English lyrics because that just didn't set right with me… Which is weird considering what is in this chapter…

Also: Honey-Bunny really is Bug's ex-girlfriend. She was rarely used in the cartoons, but was often referenced in the comic books. Her appearance, however, I have taken liberties with.


	6. Ready, Set, Zoom!

_**Catch Me If You Can**_

**Chapter 6: Ready, Set, Zoom!**

"_**I wonder, I wonder  
I wonder why each little bird has a someone  
To sing to, sweet things to  
A gay little lark melody?"**_

_**~~ Mary Costa "I Wonder"**_

In hindsight, it probably wasn't one of Wile E.'s best ideas. He had covered a strip of the road with Acme instant glue. Once something made contact with the glue it would stick for hours-years even given the right conditions and amount. Wile E. had actually used it to repair his roof once when a freak rainstorm had practically torn a section off. That had been almost three years ago and the roof was still intact. So if anything caught the bird it would be this.

Wile E. heard the loud "meep-meep" that signaled that Roadie was approaching. The coyote dove to hide behind a rock, watching as the road runner approached, looking around worriedly, as if searching for something. Wile E. frowned as he noticed that Roadie had tears in his eyes, but the bird whizzed past, not even noticing the glue as he ran ahead once more. Wile E.'s jaw dropped and he crawled out from his hiding place, staring at the glued strip of road. He frowned. Maybe it had dried while waiting for Roadie?

Wile E. carefully pressed the ball of his foot on the strip, trying to pull it back. His eyes widened when his foot stuck. He stumbled after trying to pull it back once more and his other foot made contact with the glue.

"No!" Wile E. whined, trying to pull his feet away.

"Meep-meep!" Wile E. jumped and turned his head to see Roadie standing beside him, smiling brightly.

Wile E. glared at him, but it didn't hold the usual anger. He could tell the bird had been crying. Red rimmed the wide eyes and his beak was trembling slightly. Wile E. stared down at the bird for a few moments, contemplating whether to show he actually cared or just try and catch the bird.

He reached out to grab the road runner, but Roadie was already zipping off by the time he had lifted his arm halfway.

Wile E. paused before a determined expression came to his face: he now had new incentive to catch the road runner.

Just as soon as the glue wore off.

A few hours later and it was sunset. Wile E. sighed as he trudged towards his shop, ready to lock up. As he passed Sam's saloon and bar he heard loud country-rock music playing and could see half the town dancing through the swinging doors. He smiled and approached just as "Devil Went Down to Georgia" began playing, the fast violin music causing the small crowd to become even more rowdy. There was Honey-Bunny, Granny and Tweety, Speedy and Slowpoke, Sam, as well as Marc Antony and little Pussyfoot who had apparently commuted from Apache Junction to their home early enough that they could get in on the fun.

Sam was in a surprisingly amiable mood, talking and flirting with Granny as the older woman giggled and smiled at Sam. Tweety was talking with Slowpoke and Speedy was hashing out drinks at the bar. Marc Antony was watching Pussyfoot as the black and white cat talked with Honey-Bunny, the two young femmes giggling and chatting amiably.

This was one of the reasons Wile E. loved this town. The sheer fellowship surrounding everything was what kept him here. You couldn't find that in a big city or a corporate company. While things might have been a bit run-down and the pay wasn't going to make him a millionaire, he couldn't think of living anywhere else. Wile E. smiled and watched the scene before him, in the back of his mind allowing the small thought that Roadie would love this side of Tortilla Flat…

Roadie buried his face in his pillow to keep his cries muffled, stiffening as his brother grabbed the back of the neck and whispered to him.

"Look at the camera, Roadie…"

Roadie whimpered and forced his gaze to meet the round lens, trying to imagine he was somewhere else… Anywhere else…

He wasn't here… No… He was out running… Yeah… Roadie threw his head back as a particularly violent thrust moved his whole body. He was running, across the desert, along the plateaus and mesas… And someone was following him… Brown fur, golden eyes and a green shirt… Wile E…. Roadie gasped and let out a strangled noise, his hips bucking back.

The wind was slapping his face and he was running, barely a foot in front of the canine… He glanced over his shoulder and he was grabbed from behind, strong arms wrapping around his waist to pull him back. His heart fluttered and seemed to attempt to climb out of his throat to avoid the large paw over his chest. Roadie gasped and arched, writhing beneath his brother as he thought of Wile E.'s firm body against his own, so warm and solid, safe… Roadie tried to imagine Wile E.'s scent, the smell of musk and mothballs that was oddly comforting… He whimpered and spread his legs, imagining the dog taking him instead of his brother, his hands clutching the sheets and wringing them in his hands.

"Good… Now come on, Roadie… give the camera what it wants…" Rage murmured against his brother's jaw and Roadie gasped, surprised at his own orgasm, shrieking and arching, mouth open and chest heaving as he slumped against the bed, the afterglow bathing him in warmth. Rage groaned and thrust a few more times into his brother before he came and pulled out, shutting off the camera perched on the dresser. He sneered and swept his hand down his cock, flicking the gathered droplets at his brother's face.

"Good little whore." Rage sneered, moving to disconnect the camera and prepare the latest video for uploading. Roadie whimpered and curled on his side, turning away from his brother as he listened to the tap and click of keyboard keys and a mouse.

"You should be proud. You're quite the little money-maker." Rage sniggered and Roadie curled up even tighter, eyes watering with fresh new tears as he pulled the blankets over his shivering body tightly, wishing for secure arms instead of thin cotton.

"_**I wonder, I wonder  
I wonder if my heart keeps singing  
Will my song go winging  
To someone, who'll find me  
And bring back a love song to me?"**_

_**~~ Mary Costa "I Wonder"**_

AN: In 2008 the Census for Tortilla Flat was 6, all of which were employees.


	7. Guided Muscle

_**Catch Me If You Can**_

"_**You don't know how you got here  
You just know you want out  
Believing in yourself  
Almost as much as you doubt  
You're a big smash  
You wear it like a rash  
Star…"**_

_**~~ U2 "Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me"**_

**Chapter 7: Guided Muscle**

"Well, she still has some mileage on her, but she's getting to be pretty old. Engine certainly ain't what it used to be and AC is shot as well as the radio. Most of the gagues still work and there are a couple of seat belts missing, but if you want her she's yours."

Wile E. lifted the hood of the beaten up old pick-up, looking at the inner workings. The engine still looked like it was in tact, a little bit of tuning and a few replacements had to be made but that was easy enough. He was slightly worried about the battery, but that too could be replaced. The truck was unattractive, most of the bright red paint rubbed off along the body, and there was an enormous crack in the windshield.

The quick jaunt to Apache Junction to pick up an order too large for the local post office in Tortilla Flat was turning out to have a surprising pay off. Wile E. had driven up with Marc and Pussyfoot, the two going about their business with work and such while Wile E. wandered the city. He had come upon a truck outside of an apartment complex with "free to good home" written on a sign on the windshield with a number scrawled beneath that. He had promptly dialed the number and asked about the car. The owner had come down – an older man with a pot-belly and receding hairline – and given him a thorough history of the truck.

Wile E. looked at the man.

"Does it still run?"

"She still runs." The man pulled the key from his pocket. "You can take her right now if you want."

"Thank you, sir." Wile E. smiled, shaking the man's hand firmly.

Most humans didn't talk to him, didn't even acknowledge his existence. To them, he was nothing but a dumb animal. Some places didn't even allow him to come in, much less offer service. Wile E. stuck the keys in the ignition of the beaten down truck, crossing his fingers. The engine sputtered to life before purring loudly and Wile E. grinned, holding up his hands and waving at the man as he drove the car off to the nearest automotive parts shop.

Pulling the keys out of the ignition, the coyote ignored the glares he received from the cashier at the store, going around and gathering up a few needed parts that he didn't have back at the back of his shop. He went over to the register and smiled at the man behind the counter.

"Good morning." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet.

"You have a permit to be in town?" The man asked and Wile E. nodded, pulling out his laminated permit and his driver's license. The man grudgingly looked over the pieces of plastic before grunting and ringing up the parts, placing them in a paper bag before accepting the bills that Wile E. gave him.

Wile E. grabbed his bag, his IDs and his receipt before walking out of the shop, placing his purchases in his truck before beginning to climb in.

A thick, meaty hand grabbed his shoulder and Wile E. gasped as he was jerked back from his truck and onto the gravel covered ground. A gasp escaped him as a fist made contact with his left eye before crushing his muzzle, another blow pounding into his stomach.

Air. He needed air and as his mouth flapped wildly like a fish out of water his assailant was squeezing his arm, bones creaking and cracking dangerously.

"We don't like your kind around here, dog." A low voice slurred and Wile E. gasped and grunted as he was lifted by his neck, wriggling and struggling as he stared at the enormous man in terror, wriggling and kicking out at the thick frame.

"Hey! Canasta, let go of my customer before I blow your head off!" The cashier called, from the doorway of the shop, hoisting a shotgun to aim at the large man. Wile E. whimpered and fell limp, oxygen deprivation making him weak.

He was, thankfully, blessedly, dropped and kicked one last time in the stomach before his assailant left. The cashier walked over, his boots crunching loudly on the gravel, prodding Wile E. with his shotgun.

"Now get out of here before you cause anymore trouble."

Wile E. groaned and scrambled into the truck, buckling himself in and pulling out of the parking lot.

The drive to Tortilla Flat was long and painful and upon his arrival the entire town was gathering and cheering him on.

Roadie stepped out of his home, his smile vanishing to an expression of worry as he raced over to the truck.

"Wile E.?" He pulled open the driver's side door and the coyote's body slumped, fairly falling into Roadie's arms. "Doctor Porky!" He called, slightly panicked as he knelt on the ground, clutching the dog tightly as Wile E. let out a wet, choked cough, blood filling his mouth and spilling out past his lips.

The stuttering doctor was immediately brought forward and the crowd now nervously watched as the pudgy pig knelt and felt over Wile E.'s body.

"W-w-we need to get hi-hi-him to my office!" Porky ordered, gesturing for Sam and Roadie to help carry the limp body.

XOXO

Wile E. groaned as he woke, trying to sit up only to grunt and flop back onto the soft bed, his eyes hazily focusing on the white ceiling. The smell of sterilized metal made his nose wrinkle and the air stung his eyes as he shifted, carefully moving to sit up again.

"Ble-ble-ble, don't move, y-you cr-cr-crazy ca-ca-can-dog." Porky pushed Wile E. back gently and the dog groaned.

"What happened, Doc?" Wile E. asked blearily. His voice was rough and he cleared his throat, feeling like he was swallowing dry leaves. Porky filled up a glass with water and handed it to the coyote.

"I-I-I can only guess." Porky murmured. Wile E. looked around and noticed that there was a clean set of his clothes at the foot of his bed. He stiffened and glared at Porky.

"You went into my house?"

"N-no, Ro-roadie did. He l-le-left just before his b-b-brother came home." Porky smiled at Wile E.. "C-couldn't get h-hi-him to l-le-le-leave your side."

Wile E. paused and blinked, taking in this information slowly.

Roadie had been in his home… Had brought him clothes… And stayed with him… Why?

"N-now you just l-lay back… Y-you're staying f-for the n-ni-ni-night…"

Wile E. nodded numbly, laying back on the bed and staring at the ceiling thoughtfully, lost in his own mind.

"_**They want you to be Jesus  
They'll go down on one knee  
But they'll want their money back  
If you're alive at thirty-three  
And you're turning tricks  
With your crucifix  
You're a star…"**_

_**~~ U2 "Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me**_


	8. Gee Whizzzz

_**Catch Me If You Can**_

**Chapter 9:**

"_**Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder  
Don't you know the hardest part is over?  
Let it in, let your clarity define you  
In the end we will only just remember how it feels…  
Our lives are made in these small hours  
These little wonders, these twists and turns of fate  
Time falls away but these small hours  
These small hours still remain…"**_

_**~~ Rob Thomas "Little Wonders"**_

It was another week before Wile E. saw Roadie again. The small bird had come darting into the General Store, stuffing food items into a backpack, furiously wiping tears from his face before moving to the cashier, fumbling around in his pockets for money.

"Roadie?" Wile E. asked in surprise, the bird jumping and looking up at him in shock. The coyote had never used Roadie's name before…

"Where are you, you little bastard?" Rage's loud voice called and Roadie froze, Wile E. glancing up to see a small dust cloud approaching.

"Get back here." He hissed to the bird, shoving him behind the counter with his backpack and money, moving to look like he was restocking the shelves. "Not a word." He whispered as Rage slammed open the door to the general store.

"Where is he?" Rage squawked and Wile E. glanced up with a raised eyebrow.

"Where is who?"

"Don't act stupid." Rage growled, his gaze sweeping around the store. "Where is Roadie? You're the only one in this piss poor town who could actually help him."

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. If you haven't noticed, your brother and I have never had the best of relationships."

"Oh, don't give me that. I see the way he looks at you." Rage sneered and Wile E. felt his heart pounding in his chest. "He adores you and some day it's going to get him killed."

There was silence for a moment and Wile E.'s eyes narrowed.

"I think you should leave now." He growled darkly, towering over the smaller male. "And I don't want to hear you making trouble in my shop ever again, you hear?"

Rage simply sneered and shouldered past the dog, stalking out of the shop to race around the town again.

Wile E. paused for a few moments before walking back to the cashier, peering down at the cabinet beneath the counter.

Roadie was curled up with his arms around his knees, his legs pressed to his chest and tears running down his face to mingle with blood dribbling down the side of his mouth. He looked horrible. His feathers were matted with sweat and blood and a sticky white substance that Wile E. vaguely recognized but couldn't name.

Taking a deep breath the coyote reeled back at the stench of violence, sweat and musk on the bird, growling as he covered his nose with his arm.

"You reek like a brothel." He gave a nasally growl, grabbing Roadie and dragging him to his feet, the bird stumbling as the dog led him to the back stairway, pushing him into the bathroom. "Bathe." Wile E. ordered, moving to leave.

Roadie let out a panicked sound and grabbed the dog's hand, trembling violently as he, buried his face in the canine's chest. Wile E. felt a moment of disgust before pity replaced the feeling, sighing as he allowed the smaller male to sob into his chest.

"H-hurts…" Roadie whimpered and Wile E. had to physically resist the urge to wrap his arms around the bird and soothe his aches.

"Let's see, then… Sit down."

Wile E. dislodged the small bird from his chest, gently pushing him to the toilet seat. The bird let out a cry of pain and stiffened, clutching at the wall and bathtub edge to prevent himself from sitting.

"I need to see if anything is damaged." Wile E. sighed, looking at the panting, sobbing bird. Roadie shuddered and nodded, carefully moving to bend over the edge of the tub, feathered hands trembling as he undid the fastenings of his pants.

"Careful…" Wile E. gently slid the tight jeans off of Roadie's narrow hips, gasping slightly in alarm when Roadie's knees gave out and he let out a low keen of pain.

Blood and semen coated the inside of the pants and dribbled out of Roadie's entrance, the scent of violation becoming even more potent. The dog covered his nose with his arm for a moment before reaching over to turn on the hot tap of the shower, not caring as water splashed over the edge and onto his own body as he lifted and placed Roadie inside the tub.

The bird slumped against the wall as the cleansing water flowed over his body, pelting him harshly, seeming to bleach his emotions as he slowly relaxed and spread his legs.

"Here…" Wile E. grabbed a wash rag from a nearby towel rack and began to swipe at Roadie's shoulders and back, smoothing out the mussed up feathers gently. The young bird slumped even more, arching into the strong, smooth touches, whimpering as Wile E. carefully cleaned him, hand slowly moving down. Roadie gasped and stiffened when Wile E. touched his rump, whimpering and letting out a soft beep of apprehension as the dog carefully cleaned him.

"Relax… I won't hurt you." The coyote whispered, carefully cleaning every inch of the slim bird, feeling that if he pressed to hard or touched him in a wrong way the delicate frame would shatter like a glass vase. Roadie's chest was rising and falling rapidly in panic and Wile E. could smell fear and pain on the small bird… Mingling with a thick scent of desperate want.

The coyote slid his hand down from the base of Roadie's skull, smoothing down the feathers of his slender, arched back easily before curving up and over the bird's pert ass and the trembling, soaking tail feathers. The road runner's eyes rolled back into his skull and his legs finally gave completely, the frail form collapsing backwards. Quick thinking on Wile E.'s part allowed him to catch the bird before he hit the edge of the tub, hoisting the disturbingly light frame easily into his arms.

Roadie gave a weak smile and raised a hand to touch the dog's chest.

"You-caught-me…" He murmured and Wile E. blinked at the implications of the statement. For a moment he cast them aside and focused on carrying the small bird to his bed. He placed the soaked body on the sheets and quickly grabbed a towel, drying the blue bird off. He noted for the first time that what he had once thought was athletic muscles built from running was malnourishment, the bird's ribs easily felt and what little fat and muscle covering him being filled out by thick feathering. The young bird was exhausted and by the time Wile E. was finished drying him off he was passed out on the damp bed, eyes closed and beak slightly open in relaxed slumber.

How easy it could have been, in that moment, to simply sink his teeth into the bird's throat. To tear into his weakly heaving chest and kill him, rid himself of the nuisance that had plagued him for the past months…

Wile E. knew he would later blame temporary (and permanent) insanity when looking back on his decision to simply cover the bird with as many blankets as he could spare and move to build himself a temporary bed on the floor. Stripping out of his wet clothes Wile E. didn't even bother finding a pair of boxers or pajama pants, covering himself and curling up on his side to attempt to fall asleep.

Shortly after he drifted off to sleep, Roadie cracked and eye and watched him. The slender bird carefully crawled out of his own bedding and moved to curl up against the dog's furry arms. To his surprise and pleasure, Wile E. quickly opened his arms and possessively curled them around the slender frame in his sleep. Roadie smiled up at the sleeping dog and pressed even closer to the warm frame, combing his fingers through the thick, soft chest fur as he allowed himself to sleep peacefully.

For the first time in ten years, he felt truly safe.

"_**Let it slide, let your troubles fall behind you  
Let it shine until you feel it all around you  
And I don?t mind if it?s me you need to turn to  
We?ll get by, it?s the heart that really matters in the end…  
Our lives are made in these small hours  
These little wonders, these twists and turns of fate  
Time falls away but these small hours  
These small hours still remain…  
All of my regret will wash away somehow  
But I cannot forget the way I feel right now  
In these small hours  
These little wonders, these twists and turns of fate  
Yeah, these twists and turns of fate!"**_

_**~~ Rob Thomas "Little Wonders"**_


End file.
